6 Tips When Talking About Marriage With Your Partner

When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, it’s only natural to think of taking the relationship to the next level. But before you get down on one knee to present that beautiful blue sapphire engagement ring to your significant other, it’s best to get your partner’s opinion about the concept of marriage first.

Even if you know your partner well enough, you can’t just decide to get married on your own. That being said, it’s important to talk to your partner about marriage before you even propose. While this can be terrifying for anyone, there are ways to make the conversation a lot less awkward than most people think it would be. Here are some helpful tips in how you can strike up a meaningful conversation about marriage with your significant other.

Don’t overthink it.

If you’re planning on talking to your partner about marriage, it’s best not to overthink—just do it. Truth be told, simply planning the marriage conversation won’t do you a lot of good. If you don’t initiate the conversation, you’ll get stuck thinking about things that may not even happen at all.

Don’t beat around the bush.

It’s not that easy to bring up the topic of marriage in a conversation, but beating around the bush will make it a lot more difficult for you to get your point across. When related topics come up, such as your future plans or a friend’s wedding, use the opportunity to discuss where you are in your relationship and what your partner thinks about settling down. You’ll eventually talk about these things, so why not get straight to the point and just get it over with.

Talk about marriage in private.

Marriage is a private matter between you and your partner, so it’s only right that you talk about it without anyone else in the room. Besides, talking in private makes the conversation a lot more fulfilling since both of you can freely express your thoughts about the matter and you won’t be distracted by the presence of other people.

Choose your words carefully.

While it’s preferable that you quickly get to the point, you must still be mindful of how you say things. Marriage is a serious topic, but you can avoid putting too much pressure on your partner by carefully phrasing your words. If possible, try leading the conversation with an open-ended question or statement to encourage your partner to talk. For example, you can say “we’ve been together for a long time, and I want to know what you think about finally settling down.” instead of “shouldn’t we get married anytime soon?”

Talk when you’re both calm.

It’s best to avoid talking about marriage when either one of you is dejected or stressed. Otherwise, the conversation may backfire and affect your relationship in a bad way. As much as possible, bring up the topic when you’re both in a good mood to prevent arguments and disagreements from arising.

Never treat marriage as an ultimatum.

Perhaps you really feel that your significant other is the one for you and you want to get married soon. However, it’s not right to pressure your partner into getting married. While there’s nothing wrong with being sure about your own feelings, it also pays to consider how your partner feels.

No matter how the conversation goes, remember to respect the other party’s opinion. If your partner is not yet ready for that kind of commitment, be understanding. Don’t make marriage an ultimatum for staying in the relationship. Instead, use this opportunity to work on your individual and relationship issues. In the end, you’ll find that more rewarding than coercing your significant other into something that they cannot wholeheartedly commit to.

Marriage is a big step, and talking about it can be nerve-wracking. However, this conversation is essential in moving your relationship forward. By talking to your partner, you don’t just get assurance for when you propose, but also peace of mind knowing that you both want the same thing—a harmonious marriage.